“Can I give you some advice?”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“The same thing happened to me before.”
“Here’s what you need to do.”
“If I were you I would…”
Does this all sound too familiar? Of course it does. How many times in life have you found yourself in a situation where you needed some serious advice from friends or family? I’ve sought out so much advice that if I paid for it I would probably be in the poor house. Some of it has been useful and actually helpful, some has been put there by others that I swear on my life wish me nothing but bad things, and some is just for the sake of talking. Why I still bother to ask, I have no idea. Oh wait, I sure do know why…because EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT or thinks they are!
Yes, I am guilty of giving my two cents too. We all want to help when we can. When friends are going through heartbreak, divorce, pregnancy, marriage, school, jobs, successes, failures, and even death, we all have been there or know someone that has. We all have a story to share and some advice to give whether wanted or not.
It’s the people that act like they are the only ones who ever lived life that make me laugh. They must be brilliant because they always have the answers and assume you don’t. I often wonder why they are so interested in other’s trials and tribulations. Maybe when they act like they wrote the book on life they feel superior or better about themselves. Who knows? Who cares? When you are on top of the world everybody wants to be there with you, and when you fall those same people are not there to catch you. The success seekers only care to be there if you have something to offer them. And, you know that you have those frauds in your life posing as friends that only come around when you are down and out and your life is way more miserable than theirs. They are gossip hounds, they just want to talk about you and bring you down further. Sadly, the old saying, “Misery loves company,” is true. They are the poison people.
I have recently cleaned out the clutter and realized that not many friends are friends at all. You will have hundreds of companions but true blue, honest, sincere friends are hard to find. My mother always says, “You can’t trust your friends like you can your family.” Mom is right again. She never ceases to amaze me. My mom is my best friend. I trust her because she knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She knows my every move and honestly she knows I’m going to make it even before I do. She’s on to me, no fooling her. She just wants the best for me because she's my best friend. I trust nobody like I do my family. They have never steered me wrong yet.
Some friends will tell you what you want to hear, but they will shoot you straight if they are good ones. I’ve noticed that some of my friend’s advice changes depending on where they are in their lives. The same topic gets different results on different days. When I am miserable everyone is there to listen to the ranting and raving, but dare I am happy and drama free the phone doesn’t ring as much. The thrill is gone, no juicy news to dish, no “Experts” needed. Once they can’t help you on a subject they think they know more about than you, they fade out.
Throughout my life I have made many decisions. Sometimes the outcome was good and sometimes bad, but it doesn’t matter as long as I learned something. You have to travel your own path and learn for yourself. Everyone’s advice will mean nothing until you see things with your own eyes. You don’t need advice from the “Experts.” You just need to follow your own gut. Your head will lie to you, your heart will steer you astray, but your gut is the best guide we have in life. I believe it is God’s way of giving us our answers. That gut feeling is undeniable. There’s no mistaking it. If you look back at all the times you didn’t follow your gut, you probably have regret because deep down you knew you were on the wrong path. It’s our natural compass.
The “Experts” just want to talk for the sake of hearing themselves. They don’t really care all that much about you. Their lives stay the same whether you are happy or sad. They just don’t have that much invested in your life. They have their own to live…so they should live it. At times I’ve been wrong for asking their opinions and giving them so much power over my personal life and thoughts. I am learning to stop seeking so much advice from so many friends. I love my family and friends, but there is something to be said for privacy and making your own decisions with no interference.
We only have ourselves at the end of the day. If you pay attention to your gut feelings you will have all the answers you need in life. People have no idea how you REALLY feel so stop giving them the chance to try and be your “Expert.” The only “Expert” in your life is YOU.
