Can you honestly be kind when being honest? You can try. You can give your honesty with kind intentions. But, no matter how kind one is, honesty is the hardest thing to give and take.
“Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you.”
No truer words have ever been sung by the great, Billy Joel.
When someone asks for your opinion what they are really asking for you to do is agree with their opinion. The one they already have their heart and mind set on. They are not asking what you really think; they just want you to agree with them.
We all do it. We ask for advice and then we get mad when we don’t get the results we are seeking.
You’ve heard the words, “If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.”
This is a good rule to live by. Sometimes it’s best to just make your own decisions. Other times it really is important to hear the wise words of someone else.
Hearing constructive criticism about you is brutal. It’s like going to the plastic surgeon and having him whip out his marker and mapping your face with all kinds of corrections he’s about to make to your imperfections. You only went in for some botox and he showed you more flaws than you ever saw in the mirror.
Sometimes you just don’t want to know.
Sometimes you would rather just go on and live in your bubble and just be happy and never see what someone else sees.
What someone else sees about you is just their opinions anyway. So, really it doesn’t quite matter. It’s like having an umbrella, it may help shield you from the rain but it’s still going to storm. The facts are the facts and no umbrella is going to stop Mother Nature from raining down on us.
People are always going to have something to say, so let them talk, and always know who you are.
But, if what you want is honesty and nothing more, don’t be mad when someone decides to be bold and bring it your way. You asked for it.
That smack in the face honesty that your family and true friends give you can be really hard to swallow. You know the answer deep down and you are asking them to confirm or deny that gut feeling. Sadly, they usually always confirm what you knew anyway.
It’s like a jagged little pill making its way into your calm stomach. It rattles you all up inside and creates turmoil. This pill is tough to digest, but once you do, the healing process has begun.
It’s like antibiotics that make you worse before you get better. They bring out all the bad before you get back on your feet.
Most times those friends and family members are the ones that helped you battle the beast (and you only have to take one honesty pill instead of three a day for ten days).
Honesty is best in moderation. Human beings tell little white lies all day long. Not to be malicious, but just to appear more likeable and less dramatic.
Not everyone needs to know how you are really feeling.
“How are you today?”
“I’m miserable because my head is spinning, I’m not sure I can pay my rent, and I haven’t had sex in months.”
I think the better answer is, “I’m great, you?”
This is why people lie. Honesty is too honest in a case like this. Spare them the details. Please.
So, what do you do when asked to be honest about something?
Be honest and bold no matter the consequences or be as honest as the person asking wants you to be.
What does that mean you ask?
It means you can always tell just how far you should go not to insult the asker. The inquiring mind leads you to their answer. It’s called leading the witness.
Unless you are under oath, maybe you should tell a little white lie because most of the time in most situations your honesty is honestly just too honest.
