My suitcase was packed and ready to go. All three, actually. I was going on a trip to Sin City then headed to Sedona, Arizona. I needed to be prepared for crazy nightlife and wild extravaganzas that happen only in Vegas. If that were not enough I needed the appropriate attire for walking, hiking, and relaxing with the Red Rock scenery. A girl has to be ready for any occasion.
I got to Vegas and instantly I felt a little let down. It is January and it was a Monday but still, it wasn’t packed with people. Maybe it was the long flight and time change, but the action was lacking. I could get this in Atlantic City anytime.
I decided to give it a chance. Caesar’s hotel and Casino was marvelous. We certainly got a room with a killer view and it was paid for already. Compliments of Caesar’s since my parents like to spend their money there…often. I also got free Cher tickets. Happy Birthday to me! Let the festivities begin.
Now, before I go any further let me tell you how much I love Cher. I think she is the epitome of cool. Other than the real people I know and love that rank right up there. She has an “I don’t Care” attitude and a badass demeanor. She’s been going strong for forty-six years in showbiz. Give her credit whether you like her or not.
I see and meet a ton of celebrities at my job, but Cher, I would die. I would kiss the tattoo on her ass. I’m just saying. And, I was seeing her in Las Vegas. I’ve seen her before and she rocked it out in Atlantic City on New Year’s 2000. This was going to be one of my happiest birthdays yet.
We got settled and hit up every casino we possibly could before dinner. We walked the strip and took pictures like happy tourists. The neon lights were bright and beautiful. A little cheesy at times, but hey, it’s Vegas. I felt like I was in a Disney World for grown ups. I must admit my first day I would have rather been hanging out with Mickey. I know, I know.
That night we went out to dinner, gambled a little and could barely drag our behinds back to the room. Who sleeps in Vegas? We tried. I had a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower. The bed was fit for a king and his queen. But, again, who sleeps in the city that stays up all night?
The next day I was psyched for Cher and her last shows. I mean she’s retired before, but this time might really be it. She’s sixty-four years old and still packing the house. We walked around all day and ate at Emeril’s in the Venetian. We took a gondola ride in the hotel since I missed that on my real trip to Venice. We ate gelato and window shopped at some of the most expensive stores around. The time was coming. Cher was waiting for me, I could feel it.
It was here. I put on my sexiest black dress, my over the knee knockout boots, lined the eyes, and glossed the lips. If I had a headdress made by Bob Mackie I would have worn that too. I see him at QVC all the time I should have asked for one. Talk about missed opportunities.
I was “Cher” ready. It was a sold out show. She came out and my eyes were glued to the stage. She looked amazing. Yeah, she gets plastic surgery (not a huge fan) but she admits it and doesn’t act like her skin is smooth like butter with no help. She’s gritty and down to earth. She has earned her spot in Hollywood and defends it well. Her body is still slamming and she skipped across stage like a twenty year old.
She wore outfits from her days of “The Sonny and Cher Show”, and yes, she wore her famous headdresses, all bright and beautiful. She got into her original costumes from the 1960’s and if that ain’t remarkable…what is?
She spoke to the crowd and was effortlessly cool. “I know what you guys are thinking right now. You told your wives and girlfriends that I will bring you to see the old naked bitch to shut you up then I’m gambling all night…don’t bother me.” The crowd roared with laughter. She was on the money. Most men probably did think that she was an old bitch, until she turned around and showed off her self declared “cute ass.”
That a girl! I love you, Cher! She opened with “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” To this song I ask, has anyone? It was perfect. She changed her outfit for every song. It was a little annoying for me, the biggest Cher fan, but I still loved the show. She’s in her sixties; I’ll give her a break. A minute to catch her breath is the least I could do.
She ended with “If I Could Turn Back Time” and the crowd danced and sang along. You could feel the energy building. If I could turn back time I might have done a few things differently. We all might. That’s just life. But, at this time, in this moment I was pretty damn happy. I was ringing in my thirty-fourth birthday in style. Vegas style; celebrating with Cher and my honey.
Thirty years from now I can say I saw Cher’s show in Vegas. I will remember the feeling of being young and excited. I will sit back and tell my stories. I’ll talk about the drive-in at the Little White Chapel, the Rat Pack impersonators in Old Vegas at the Golden Nugget, and the light from the Luxor that can be seen in outter space.
We had a taxi driver that was a run down wiped out comedian. But, he sure gave us a good laugh while we drove around town and he stopped everywhere to take some pictures for us. He wanted a good tip and he got one. He kept telling us to say, “Sex” instead of “Smile.” That would make anyone flash a big grin!
I can say that I went to a topless show, Crazy Horse at MGM, where all the women are the same height and have the same sized everything. I can say that I had delicious die for fun. I stopped by the Playboy club and some unmentionables. I can’t tell you everything I did. But, I got a little crazy and let the control go a little bit. Just a little.
I danced to the 60, 000 sprinklers outside the Belagio. I won a little money and lost a little. I had a frrrozen Hot Chocolate from Serendipity. My all time favorite New York City spot…now in Vegas of course.
Day one: not super impressed.
Day two: way better, Cher got the party started.
Birthday on day three: Vegas style all the way.
I didn’t want to leave Sin City. I finally woke up the last day of the trip and was ready for more. I found the hottest spots for me and had fun. I wasn’t ready to bid adieu to Vegas.
I saw a legend, partied where legends partied, and became a legend, even if it was only in my mind.
This town is full of Gypsy’s, Tramps, and Thieves. Be careful you don’t become one of the above on your trip. Pack some self control in that suitcase if you know what’s good for you.
I gotta tell you, I never knew the desert could be so juicy.
