Las Vegas was officially checked off my list of places to see. Now, I was headed to Sedona, Arizona for some spiritual healing and beautiful natural surroundings. My very good friend, Stacy, recommended this part of the trip. It’s one of her favorite places and she is a well rounded traveler. How could I resist?
Well, “Next” was something to see. It wasn’t a large area of square footage with loud patterned floors, clouds of smoke, and no clocks to be found. There were no Mexicans handing out cards with every different prostitute for every different price. No big fake breasts and no flashy neon lights. It was different…to say the least. I was in a place I only saw in old Western movies. I was in a place that quite frankly I didn’t know still existed in America.
Somewhere on the way to the Grand Canyon Skywalk my boyfriend and I ended up in Dolan Springs, Arizona. A long, dirt road lead us to a serious time warp. You could see cacti as far as the eye could see and every now and then you would catch a glimpse of some human life.
Then, with great surprise we saw a few trailers (that look a thousand years old) and a few little stores. I noticed the pink church that was the size of a South Philadelphia row home’s first floor appropriately named, Our Lady of the Desert. I saw a few modern day thugs walking on this lonely road. But, the tumbleweed is what made me roar uncontrollably! “We aren’t in Kansas anymore!” I told my honey as he drove the car with his jaw to floor.
As we laughed and mocked this one road town of maybe twenty people, I saw the flashing lights go off. The one and only cop in Dolan Springs was pulling us over. Yes, that’s right, Oscar, the officer on day shift nabbed my man for speeding. As the burly man approached our vehicle I had to fight back my laughter and keep a straight face. My boyfriend was certain the sirens weren’t for him until I screamed with great force and energy to pull over before we get killed out here in the desert. “I’m sure they don’t love city slickers like us!!!!”
In the deepest voice with dust kicking up from his heels you could hear, “Son, you know why I stopped you?” In all seriousness we didn’t have a clue what we did wrong. “No, Sir.” The seconds seemed like an eternity. “Well, here we don’t speed and you were doing forty-five in a twenty-five.”
To this my sweetheart of a boyfriend could only apologize and make Oscar feel respected. But, to this…I could only ask in my nicest voice, “Could you please give us a warning, Sir? We lost all of our money in Vegas and we are now headed to the Skywalk.” I was sure I got us off the hook and maybe even a little chuckle from “Oscar the Grouch.”
As we waited for the town’s Robocop to run the license and tags we sat there trying not to laugh at the hilarious scene we found ourselves in. He came back and to our surprise he let us go. “I’m gonna give you a warning this time, not because you lost your money in Vegas, but because my shift ends in ten minutes and I don’t feel like doing the work. And, by the way slow down it’s free range on these roads. Cattle and wild horses run free and they have the rights here. They should have told you to stay out of Vegas in Philadelphia.”
We drove off, again laughing. I was slightly annoyed that Mike only got
a warning and that I always get a ticket no matter the circumstance. I found it funnier that he was going to give us a warning “THIS” time as if we will ever be back in Dolan Springs in our lives. But, it wasn’t funny when we got to the top of the Grand Canyon Skywalk and it had just closed. The joke was on us.
The long dirt road that led us to the top was one of the scariest drives I have ever been on. Since I am the control freak I wanted no parts of this insanity once the sun went down. I saw teepees and skulls on the side of the road. They could have been big rocks but I know I saw a skull. There were wild animals, Indians, and magnificent mountains. All that was missing was good old John Wayne. I needed some cowboys. I wasn’t feeling too safe.
On our way back down the mountain after a very mild mannered American Indian man turned down my monetary bribes to take us to the Skywalk, the sun starting setting. And, my fear kicked into high gear. We also saw a car full of young Asian women lose control of their car and do a one-eighty just missing the cliff’s edge. That was enough for me. I wanted out of the sacred canyon and into civilization as we know it.
Down the dirt road and a few more turns and we were smooth sailing on flat land. I was never so happy to see fields of green. For an hour and a half we were the only car in sight. Good thing we got gas and already ate. There was no cell phone reception and no lights in the distance. The only life was us and the cattle roaming around.
We were on our way to Flagstaff, Arizona and the night was pitch black. The stars were so bright and beautiful. I was feeling a little unnerved and out of control. Our compass was our GPS. I was hoping it didn’t fail us now. We made it through that and we finally stopped off for some goodies on Route 66.
Route 66 only existed to me as a Kmart clothing line since I was little. We stopped off at a gas station; a Chevron to be exact. It was a ghost town. A few dilapidated trailers and tiny homes lined the road. We were greeted by an old woman stuck in the 1950’s with her crooked beehive and some serious make-up. It felt like we were “The Outsiders” and everyone was staring at us city folk. We asked if we were on track to Sedona and the woman reassured us that we were and that Sedona was another world, one can only hope I thought to myself.
We left Route 66 a little scared and called our parents to let them know we were still alive and well on our short, but strange road trip. We were finally twenty minutes from Sedona driving down 89A a well known scary road to the locals. We drove through forests and then we were on switchback, mountain roads with 6000 feet drop offs. Did I mention they had no guard rails? I thought the dirt road to the Skywalk was scary, well, I was wrong. I had my first official panic attack.
I was the passenger on this frightful journey. Did I mention I was a control freak? I was trembling with fear. I kept seeing signs that read, “Donate to Ropes that Save Lives.” That was not soothing my soul. I was actually weak in the knees, and white knuckled gripping the cross around my neck. I’ve always been close to God, but I called on him more than a few times on that drive. I was certain I wasn’t making it to Sedona alive.
We made it alive…but freaked out. On our way to the hotel we got lost because that too was hidden behind mountains. We sadly saw a dog get killed by a driver that didn’t stop. If that’s not a bad omen, what is? I was sick to my stomach for quite some time. I wanted to hightail it out of this place. My vibes were wrong…all wrong. But, we made it to the hotel because we didn’t have too many other options at this point.
The Inn keeper was definitely high on life, actually weed. She suggested that she never drives the road we came in on and that no locals never really do either. It’s way too dangerous. Yeah, I found out. Good to know now that I braved it and was scared to leave Sedona. “Is that the only way out to Phoenix?” I anxiously asked our motorcycle mama Inn Keeper. She showed us another route. I could now officially breathe again.
We went to the one and only diner that was Alien themed and weird…The Red Planet Diner. UFO sightings happen in Sedona and this diner was very proud of it. One man said, “I swear they have someone waving a flashlight and taking your money.” It was interesting to say the least. The town closes down at eight. “Slowdona” goes to bed early.
We decided that it was a bad day and we would take Slowdona’s lead and hit the sack too. From neon lights in Vegas to UFO’s and aliens. It’s safe to say we were Somewhere Out There.
Our journey ended at the New Age Psychic Center. Getting your fortune told and cards read are what you do for fun in this town. It’s a spiritual healing vortex. I figured someone might truly have some psychic ability. So, I paid my forty dollars for twenty minutes and got asked questions instead of being told my fate. When in Rome do what the “Crystal Crunchers” do.
Sedona is beautiful. It’s spiritual because if you don’t believe in a higher being after seeing natural beauty like this, you never will. It’s hard to explain unless you feel it for yourself.
America the Beautiful is one big place. You never know where four wheels and some courage will take you. And, I’m happy to report that places with a population of twenty people still exist. There’s land as far as the eye can see and then some. Mountains and valleys and rivers and oceans are plentiful. Nature sure is nurturing and we don’t always see God’s artwork like this.
Simplicity is a beautiful thing. And, I promise simple is what you will find “Somewhere Out There.”
